Ask A Lesbian with Effort-Lez

Today I'm teaming up with Natasha from Effort-Lez with what we're calling Ask a Lesbian! We've come up with five questions that we asked each other and the answers are down below! We encourage you to leave your own questions down below in the comments and we'd love to answer them! So let's get started! 

First, let me tell you a little bit about Natasha and Effort-Lez. Natasha is a hilarious, wine-drinking, lesbian and you NEED to check out her blog because it WILL become your new obsession!

Effort-Lez is Natasha’s amazing brainchild. And I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. WE NEED MORE LESBIANS! We need more lesbians representing all types of lesbians across media and she’s doing an amazing job. Effort-Lez is an amazing, funny, and HONEST blog about anything and everything lesbian.

Here are Natasha's questions she asked me that I answered!

1. What are your thoughts/feeling on Ruby Rose? I personally find her super attractive, however, it’s super annoying how straight girls are suddenly saying they’re “going gay” for her. Yeah, it’s not possible!

2. What does your inside voice say when someone asks you the age ol question "Which one of you is the boy?” Well first I usually laugh and say “hahah, do you not understand? I’m a lesbian. We’re lesbians.” But inside I’m saying wow, you’re so ignorant. 

3. In 4 words describe your coming out journey. Difficult, emotional, accepting, adjusting. 

4. Word association What is the first word that comes to mind when I say the word "Scissors”? Something that everyone things lesbians do, but in actuality, almost none actually do. 

5. If you were asked to do a LGBTQ themed Ted Talk what would your topic be? Being a feminine lesbian doesn’t make me less of a lesbian. 

This is how Natasha answered my questions! 

1. How old were you when you “knew”? Looking back I think I always kind of knew. I remember being very young (5-6) and thinking my babysitter was so beautiful - I couldn't even talk to her. I guess I just thought at the time all my friends felt that way about their babysitters. I thought my "feelings" were just me really looking up to this super cool older girl. Wasn't until I was 13 that I realized I had the same feelings + towards my best friend. (cliche alert) Only this time I finally recognized what it was. The other girls in my class definitely didn't want to slow dance with each other. lol 

2. Do you there there is an accurate representation of lesbians in tv shows and movies today? Hmmmm my personal opinion is that we need more good quality gay media. That being said. I think a lot of projects have portrayed some great characters that are realistic to me. OITNB has a handful of characters I find relatable. ( I mean if I were doing time of course... :/ ) 

3. I personally find “dyke” super offensive. What are your thoughts? I think it's a question of tone for me. My friends and I toss around the term in jovial conversation and I'm comfortable with it and find it funny. However, if someone was calling my a Dyke in a derogatory way I would absolutely take issue with that.  

4. What is your favorite book about/featuring lesbians? Hmmmm my favorite book of life hands down is "Not That Kind of Girl" by Lena Dunham. (If anyone reading this hasn't picked it up yet, do it now! It's an absolute treasure and the most refreshing thing you will ever read!) It's not necessarily a book about or featuring lesbians per say. However there is a wealth of material on exploration of sexuality and identity as well as candid perspectives on homosexuality. It's a terrific book! I can't say enough about it.

5. What is one of the worst things someone has said to you about your sexuality? I feel like I have been pretty lucky, in the sense I haven't encountered a lot of direct and aggressive comments from others. I mean I've been called a dyke once or twice by drunk guys in bars. But I feel like any girl shutting a drunk guy down has the same pleasure.

I have to say it the "polite" discrimination that really gets me. Which I feel like is the Canadian brand of descrimination. Someone calls me a slur fine. I feel like that persons actions immediately dismiss themselves. However it's when I encounter situations like I did at my work Xmas dinner a few years ago that I take considerable offence. I work as a management employee at a bank. Every year for xmas we take our staff out for a nice dinner. We cover everything from drinks to dessert. Naturally some people indulge. My 55 year old boss indulged in many xmas "spirits" that evening and proceeded to tell my whole staff that she liked me when she hired me but she didn't anymore. Then she proceeded to make a face and laugh. I was floored at her statement. For a number of reasons professionally and personally. So I asked at the table "And why is that?" She responded because "Well you know you are different." 

The context here that is important to point out is that we are both from the same small community. Although I'm her daughters age. We went to the same high school, our families frequent the same church and we grew up in the same neighbourhoods, played the same sports. We are about as fundamentally alike as can be. Only she stopped being friendly and excited she hired a "local girl" when she found out I was in a same sex relationship. 

The story goes on from here and we confronted the situation directly. But being out at work has presented me with the worst and most difficult to deal with challenges.

Definitely go check out Effort-Lez, I seriously cannot recommend it enough. 

Want to know more? Follow her on her social media!

Twitter: Effort_Lez

Instagram: @Effort.Lez 

Don't forget to leave your questions below!