LGBT Terms

If you’re not in the LGBT community, and even if you are, there are some terms used to describe the community that could get confusing. If you’re not sure what you should be calling someone, or how to describe someone, just ask. Most of the time, individuals will tell you, but if they don’t, just ask. There’s no harm in that! I’m going to give you some of the most talked about terms and their definitions so that you can learn more of the correct ways to describe your LGBT friends.

Advocate: Someone who works to end intolerance, educate others and supports equality for all.

Ally: A straight person who supports queer people.

Asexual: A person who generally does not experience sexual attraction to any group of people.

Biological Sex: The physical anatomy and generated hormones one is born with. Generally described as male, female, or intersex. Often confused with gender.

Bisexual: A person who experiences sexual, romantic, and physical attraction to people of their own gender as well as another gender.

Cisgender: A person whose gender identity, gender expression, and biological sex all align.

Fluid(ity): Usually with another term attached such as gender fluid. Describes an identity that is a mix of two options. (Gender fluid = male/female)

Gay: Used to describe men who are attracted to the same sex but also used as a blanket term for gays and lesbians alike.

Genderqueer: A blanket term describing someone whose gender falls outside of the gender binary.

Pansexual: A person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities and expressions.

Queer: (1) Historically, this was a derogatory slang term to identify LGBTQ+ individuals. (2) A term that has been embraced and reclaimed by the LGBTQ+ community as a symbol of pride, representing all individuals who fall out of the gender and sexuality norms.

Sexual Orientation: The type of sexual, romantic and physical attraction one feels for others.

Sexual Preference: Often used interchangeably with sexual orientation.

Straight: A man or woman who is attracted to other people of the opposite sex.

Transgender: A blanket term used to describe all people who are not cisgender (see above)

Transitioning: A term used to describe the process of moving from one sex/gender to another, sometimes this is done by hormone or surgical treatments.

Transsexual: A person whose gender identity is the binary opposite of their biological sex, who may undergo medical treatments to change their biological sex, often times to align it with their gender identity.

Transvestite: A person who dresses as the binary opposite gender expression for one of many reasons, including relaxation, fun, or sexual gratification. Often called a cross-dresser, and often confused with transsexual.

Trans-man: A person, who was assigned a female sex at birth, but identifies as a man; often confused with “transsexual man” or “FTM”.

Trans-woman: A person, who was assigned a male sex at birth, but identifies as a woman; often confused with “transsexual woman” or “MTF”.

I know it can get confusing, but like I said above, all you have to do is ask what pronouns, or what labels they prefer!

Ask A Lesbian with Effort-Lez

Today I'm teaming up with Natasha from Effort-Lez with what we're calling Ask a Lesbian! We've come up with five questions that we asked each other and the answers are down below! We encourage you to leave your own questions down below in the comments and we'd love to answer them! So let's get started! 

First, let me tell you a little bit about Natasha and Effort-Lez. Natasha is a hilarious, wine-drinking, lesbian and you NEED to check out her blog because it WILL become your new obsession!

Effort-Lez is Natasha’s amazing brainchild. And I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. WE NEED MORE LESBIANS! We need more lesbians representing all types of lesbians across media and she’s doing an amazing job. Effort-Lez is an amazing, funny, and HONEST blog about anything and everything lesbian.

Here are Natasha's questions she asked me that I answered!

1. What are your thoughts/feeling on Ruby Rose? I personally find her super attractive, however, it’s super annoying how straight girls are suddenly saying they’re “going gay” for her. Yeah, it’s not possible!

2. What does your inside voice say when someone asks you the age ol question "Which one of you is the boy?” Well first I usually laugh and say “hahah, do you not understand? I’m a lesbian. We’re lesbians.” But inside I’m saying wow, you’re so ignorant. 

3. In 4 words describe your coming out journey. Difficult, emotional, accepting, adjusting. 

4. Word association What is the first word that comes to mind when I say the word "Scissors”? Something that everyone things lesbians do, but in actuality, almost none actually do. 

5. If you were asked to do a LGBTQ themed Ted Talk what would your topic be? Being a feminine lesbian doesn’t make me less of a lesbian. 

This is how Natasha answered my questions! 

1. How old were you when you “knew”? Looking back I think I always kind of knew. I remember being very young (5-6) and thinking my babysitter was so beautiful - I couldn't even talk to her. I guess I just thought at the time all my friends felt that way about their babysitters. I thought my "feelings" were just me really looking up to this super cool older girl. Wasn't until I was 13 that I realized I had the same feelings + towards my best friend. (cliche alert) Only this time I finally recognized what it was. The other girls in my class definitely didn't want to slow dance with each other. lol 

2. Do you there there is an accurate representation of lesbians in tv shows and movies today? Hmmmm my personal opinion is that we need more good quality gay media. That being said. I think a lot of projects have portrayed some great characters that are realistic to me. OITNB has a handful of characters I find relatable. ( I mean if I were doing time of course... :/ ) 

3. I personally find “dyke” super offensive. What are your thoughts? I think it's a question of tone for me. My friends and I toss around the term in jovial conversation and I'm comfortable with it and find it funny. However, if someone was calling my a Dyke in a derogatory way I would absolutely take issue with that.  

4. What is your favorite book about/featuring lesbians? Hmmmm my favorite book of life hands down is "Not That Kind of Girl" by Lena Dunham. (If anyone reading this hasn't picked it up yet, do it now! It's an absolute treasure and the most refreshing thing you will ever read!) It's not necessarily a book about or featuring lesbians per say. However there is a wealth of material on exploration of sexuality and identity as well as candid perspectives on homosexuality. It's a terrific book! I can't say enough about it.

5. What is one of the worst things someone has said to you about your sexuality? I feel like I have been pretty lucky, in the sense I haven't encountered a lot of direct and aggressive comments from others. I mean I've been called a dyke once or twice by drunk guys in bars. But I feel like any girl shutting a drunk guy down has the same pleasure.

I have to say it the "polite" discrimination that really gets me. Which I feel like is the Canadian brand of descrimination. Someone calls me a slur fine. I feel like that persons actions immediately dismiss themselves. However it's when I encounter situations like I did at my work Xmas dinner a few years ago that I take considerable offence. I work as a management employee at a bank. Every year for xmas we take our staff out for a nice dinner. We cover everything from drinks to dessert. Naturally some people indulge. My 55 year old boss indulged in many xmas "spirits" that evening and proceeded to tell my whole staff that she liked me when she hired me but she didn't anymore. Then she proceeded to make a face and laugh. I was floored at her statement. For a number of reasons professionally and personally. So I asked at the table "And why is that?" She responded because "Well you know you are different." 

The context here that is important to point out is that we are both from the same small community. Although I'm her daughters age. We went to the same high school, our families frequent the same church and we grew up in the same neighbourhoods, played the same sports. We are about as fundamentally alike as can be. Only she stopped being friendly and excited she hired a "local girl" when she found out I was in a same sex relationship. 

The story goes on from here and we confronted the situation directly. But being out at work has presented me with the worst and most difficult to deal with challenges.

Definitely go check out Effort-Lez, I seriously cannot recommend it enough. 

Want to know more? Follow her on her social media!

Twitter: Effort_Lez

Instagram: @Effort.Lez 

Don't forget to leave your questions below!

IT'S LEGAL!

I'm not making a five things post today because there's only one thing that I am excited about today! GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL IN ALL 50 STATES!

ALL 50 STATES!
I honestly did not think this would happen before I was 40, much less before I was even 20 years old! I seriously CANNOT handle my happiness!

This is a HUGE victory for the entire LGBT community, and I could not be more proud to be a part of it! 

What are your thoughts?

Everyone Deserves To Feel Loved and Supported (Guest Post)

Today I'm bringing you a guest post by Janessa about something that I haven't personally had to deal with, but I see it way too much in the LGBTQ community. I hope you leave here today with a little more knowledge. 

Source

Did you know 40% of homeless youth in America identify as LGBTQ? People who identify as LGBTQ face serious social repercussions at early ages and know the feeling of rejection and abandonment all too well. As a result, they are often left with no other choice but to leave home with the sense of feeling unwanted. No one should ever have to feel such hate, depression, or suicidal thoughts, especially at a young age. LGBTQ homeless youth need to know they are not alone and, thankfully, there are people willing to help.

GLAAD, The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, is a strong media outlet that advocates for the LGBTQ community and helps share their stories. Other non-profits like The Larkin Street Youth Project supports LGBTQ homeless youth in the Bay Area by providing a safe haven, but also by offering many programs to teach them about school, work, and overall confidence, so they can prepare themselves for a better life. Similarly, The National Coalition for the Homeless, offers special resources to LGBTQ homeless individuals by helping them push through the adversities they face.

Source

The two biggest things homeless LGBTQ youth need are love and support, which are things that many of us with families who love us take for granted. Having a support system makes a person feel like they’re not alone, but always knowing that you have a support system especially in lonesome times is what can make a big difference. Let’s give these youth a second chance of living a successful life. With the right programs and resources, LGBTQ homeless youth will be able to get on track and see what the world has to offer.

If you would like to support any of the organizations mentioned above, you can through Goodshop. Select the nonprofit you would like to support to raise donations with your online shopping at stores like, Lands’ End, Adidas, and Shutterfly.

Janessa Dayan is a strong ally and advocate for the LGBTQ community. Native to San Francisco, she always understood the importance of acceptance and equality and knows the main step to achieving this starts with conversation. Her most recent endeavor is spreading the word about campaigns fighting to make a difference and hoping more people can make a change with her.

Movies About Lesbians

Sometimes a lesbian just has to have a good movie about fellow lesbians right?! So I've put together a list of 20 movies about lesbians, or with lesbians. A lot of these are on Netflix. Plus, in addition to all of these movies, there's an enter Gay/Lesbian section on Netflix!

1. A Marine Story
2. And Then Came Lola
3. Better than Chocolate
4. Bloomington
5. Bound
6. But I'm a Cheerleader
7. Chloe
8. Cracks
9. Elena Undone
10. I Can't Think Straight
11. Imagine Me and You
12. Ittie Bittie Tittie Committee
13. Kissing Jessica Stein
14. Kiss Me
15. Room in Rome
16. Saving Face
17. Show Me Love
18. The Baby Formula
19. Water Lilies
20. The Hours

Enjoy!!

Caitlyn Jenner

As I'm sure you know, Caitlyn Jenner has finally completed her long awaited transition. As someone who is in the LGBT community, this is something absolutely amazing that is going to help SO many transgendered (and questioning) youth. However, there has been SO much controversy surrounding Caitlyn these past few days.

Every time I got onto Facebook or Twitter I saw a photo floating around about how it's unfair that Caitlyn received the ESPN courage award over someone in the military. Let me just make this clear. They're both brave. It's two completely different kinds of bravery. But just because one is brave, doesn't mean the other isn't. And also, according to this article that claim isn't even true. 

I saw this picture floating around the internet and I thought I would share it with you guys. 

Caitlyn has been trapped in her own body for 65 years. To be able to fully come out, transition and embrace who she really is in front of billions of people, is extremely brave. I had a hard enough time coming out as gay. My extended family still doesn't know. I could not imagine not only have to come out to my entire family, but the entire world (possibly). 

Many people are saying that Caitlyn is not and will never be a woman. That she may not have the "parts" of a woman. So I'll just leave this here with you also: 

If you are willingly, purposely, deliberately calling Caitlyn Bruce or male pronouns, you are being hateful. Absolutely hateful. Caitlyn has been waiting 65 years to be who she is so you should be able to switch over a few pronouns when talking about her. Just because you believe something, doesn't mean you have the right to be absolutely disgustingly hateful. 

Did you know that 41% of people that identify as transgender will attempt suicide at least once in their life? 19% have experienced domestic violence at the hands of a family member because of their transgender identity or gender non‐conformity. 50% have experienced harassment by someone at work. 7% have been physically assaulted on the job. (Source)

Of those transgender and gender non‐conforming people who experienced domestic violence:

• 65% had attempted suicide, compared to 32% of those who had not been abused
• 48% experienced homelessness, a rate four times higher than those who were not abused (9%) 
• 47% reported drinking or using drugs to cope with mistreatment, compared to 19% of those who had not been abused
• 29% had engaged in sex work, a rate four times higher than those who were not abused (7%) (Source)

Caitlyn Jenner is the first person to publicly completely transition in my life time. This is huge. By Caitlyn transitioning in the public spotlight, I believe this is going to give hope to so many people. There are children and teens at home trapped in the wrong body wondering if they are ever going to be able to be who they really are. Caitlyn is giving them just a little glimmer of hope. 

Caitlyn is beautiful. Caitlyn is strong. Caitlyn is brave. 

Because of this and all of the media surrounding it, I have decided to cut ties with many, many people I considered my friends. Any time someone said anything negative, I immediately unfollowed or unfriended them. I am now only following 40 people on my personal Twitter. I have made it very clear that I will not tolerate any hateful comments towards Caitlyn or any individual who identifies as transgender. 

*Feel free to leave any comments you have. However, negative comments will not be answered.