Anniversary Edition: What It's Really Like Falling in Love at 16

Today is Kayla and I’s four-year anniversary! When she gets out of her volunteer hours at 5, we are going to go eat dinner, maybe Olive Garden, Sup Dogs or maybe even make our own seafood feast! Then we’re going to see Jurassic World on campus!

But, it wasn’t always as easy as living in the same town as each other.

I met my soul mate at 15. My now girlfriend Kayla and I met by being on the same softball team my freshman year. It didn’t start off as a romantic relationship; I didn’t even know I was gay.

We became best friends almost immediately. We would text all day and all night about everything. We were so similar and liked so many of the same things; it was honestly a little weird. I was just so excited that I finally had a best friend that I could talk to about anything, and they would actually relate to me.

How did I know that she was my soul mate so early on? It was something that I felt when I just even just texting her. She had this way about her that was so captivating; she made everyone around her love her and feel loved by her. We were so similar. We liked the same things, we had the same interests, and we liked the same songs. When I looked at her, I got butterflies no matter how long we were dating.

We started dating about 6 months after we met. It was difficult. I was struggling with the fact that I was gay, and that I was so young, but so hopelessly in love. I had no idea how I was supposed to tell everyone about me, and about us. So for the longest time we secretly texted, met up, and sent notes back and forth. Eventually, friends at school began to catch on; it wasn’t that hard to guess.

We said our first “I love you” in October of 2011. We started dating in November. Five days later I told my parents about us, and about me being gay. They took it well, but not overly well. They were just happy I was happy. But again, I just turned 16, so my parents were still dictating my life. They could tell me when I could go out or not, and even went as far as telling me we couldn’t hold hands in public.

She was 2 years older than me, and in high school it feels like 10 years. She was able to go out and hang out with her friends, while I was sitting at home because I had a curfew. She would take over an hour sometimes to text me back, while I was queuing up my second Disney movie for the night.

By the time my sophomore ended, Kayla graduated high school that same year. I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be watching my girlfriend walk across that stage, and into a new life that I was scared I wasn’t going to be a part of. We spent almost every moment of summer 2012 together. Hoping that we were going to make up some time we were going to miss out on over the next two years because she was going to school four hours away.

The day that she left for the very first time to go away to college was (one of ) the hardest days of my life. I had spent the night at her house, and her parents dropped me off at my house on the way out of town. I couldn’t even make it halfway to my house before I was bawling my eyes out. Thankfully my mom met me at the door and hugged me to try and make it a little bit better.

The next two years were hard. Really hard. Instead of being able to go to the movies on date night, we had to find a way to sync up our online movies through Skype (and we definitely got really good at that). Instead of being able to see each other every day in the halls and ask how our days were, we had to wait until she got out of class and after I had dinner to talk on the phone. We would go weeks and months without seeing each other and it definitely tore at us.

Some people don’t understand the appeal of dating so seriously at such a young age. And I definitely get that. Because am I missing out on something? Am I missing out on going to the club and picking up a random like so many of my friends tend to do? Am I missing out on going on blind dates that end up going so horribly wrong?

Sometimes I ask myself these questions. But then I look at her and I know all of the struggles and maybe missing out on a few experiences that most everyone regrets anyway are worth it. Seeing her smile and having her by my side at the end of a bad day, or calling her to tell her I got an A on my English paper is worth it.

Falling in love at such a young age, but FOUR years later, I don’t regret it and I know I never will. She’s my best friend and my girlfriend all in one.  It’s definitely not easy being 19 years old and already feeling like I’m in a married relationship, but it’s most definitely worth it.

Happy anniversary, Kayla! I love you!