Toxic Friends

Toxic Friends. We have all had them, I’ve had them, and you’ve had them. It’s something everyone is going to have to deal with at least once in his or her life. You have this friend. You love them. You start spending a lot of time together.  You make tons of memories; take lots of pictures and you start having a wonderful friendship that other people couldn’t possibly understand, right? It’s all fine, dandy, and great. You’re happy; you finally found a friend who you can be yourself around and who loves you for who you are.

But what happens when things start going south? You don’t notice at first. They start “making fun” of the things you’re most insecure about. They start ditching you. They start saying, “are you really going to wear that? Lol ” or “your roots really need to get done haha”. Maybe they start doing drugs or drinking more, more than you’re used to seeing them doing. They insist that they’re okay, don’t worry about it, what’s one more drink?

In my case, it happened so quickly I didn’t even know what was happening until it was already over. It started with the (his) second arrest. Then Kayla and I defended our mutual friend when things started turning sour. Then things spiraled out of control more than I ever thought they could. Long story short: someone who used to be my best friend, someone who I would come to when I was upset, or mad, or scared or bored completely turned on me, and everyone associated with him.

It was a long time coming. He’s been showing signs of insanity for a while. I tried to distance myself but it was hard because he lives with three of my best friends. Eventually, he went absolutely insane. Stealing people’s things, yelling at everyone he saw, writing terrible messages to everyone in the house, and just generally going crazy.

Even though it’s hard to do, ridding yourself of toxic friends is most definitely worth it. You will be so much happier, and better off if you just get rid of the negativity as soon as you see it. Here are a few tips and reminders on how:

Social Media: The first thing you need to do is delete them off Facebook, unfollow them on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. It’s going to do NO good to have to see their updates all the time and block them, so they can’t see yours.

Memories: Know and recognize that memories will creep up. And that’s okay. You’re going to miss them. You’re going to miss the times you had together. But it’s not worth the stress and putting yourself in danger by being around them.

Pictures: If you have pictures with them around your room or something, take them down. It’s only going to make the “memories” above worse.

Reconnecting: No matter what happens, don’t become best friends with them again. They might try and woo you back. It’s not worth it. No matter what you do, you have to stick to your ground. Your happiness and well being is worth more than a so-called “friend”. You don't have to be out right rude or mean to them, but don't hang out with them or associate with them. 

Realize: You need to realize that you’re better than the toxic person you’re trying to move on from. You don’t need the stress and negativity in your life. Focus on school, your career, your family, or whatever it is that you feel needs the most attention in your life.

Your life is going to be so much better, and you’re going to become a much better person without the toxic people in your life. Some people are never going to change, but you can make sure you are happy, healthy and okay with how things are going on in your life. You are so much better than the people who aren’t lifting you up and making you a better person. One step at a time! I wish you the best!


  1. I just went through losing someone I considered my bestfriend, and although I knew fundamentally we were just so different I still fought to keep her in my life because there was plenty of good in her heart. Its been hard and I'm not sure we'll ever be the same, but you're not alone in losing someone you depended on aside from a significant other.

    1. I definitely understand what you're saying. It's hard, when you love someone so much, and you know you're not meant to be friends but you stay anyway. But we're so much better off! I personally can already tell my life is so much better already! Good luck, and I hope you find better friends who are great for you!

  2. I really needed to hear this, I have gone through this recently and it's hard. I still haven't been able to bring myself to deleting the pictures, I just feel like once I do that our friendship is really over? Part of my also feels like maybe I was doing something wrong in the friendship.. I Know that isn't true, but I can't stop my mind from thinking it, and I keep thinking "what if" Its really hard for me to drop people from my life, but I am working on it because I want to be happier.
    thank you for this post!

    1. If I can be blunt, it sounds like to me the friendship is already over. I believe you should delete the pictures together so that you can move on with your life, and focus on better people. You're going to feel so much better, and relieved once the traces of them are gone. You didn't do anything wrong. With toxic people, they tend to make you feel like you did something wrong when we all know you didn't. It's always going to be hard, but you're going to be so much better off! Good luck!

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