3 More Weeks

Yesterday I went to Kayla's house to say goodbye and help her pack a few things and then I expected to go back home and cry alone in my room for a few days. But I ended up going with her and her mom to move her in to her new apartment in Greenville. (Without anything. I had a change of underwear and some comfy shorts for sleeping. No make up, no make up remover, no toothbrush. Nothing.)

I've had to deal with the big move in day for the past three years so this is the third time I've gone through this. But not only that but we've had to say goodbye about a thousand times when she has come home for the weekend. So it's not like we're strangers to saying goodbye to each other. But God, it never gets any easier.

I swear, I was fine. I shed maybe one tear when we were saying goodbye. Because I knew I would be right back. But then her mom forgot her water bottle so I went back inside to grab it and then I had to say goodbye again and that's when I started crying. (I'm holding back tears now as I type.)

I hate that I'm going to be spending the next three weeks without her. But at the same time it's so exciting because in three weeks I'm going to be moving to Greenville and the long distance we have to deal with is over for at least two years. I feel like I'm missing so much. Kayla and all of my (her) friends are in Greenville and I'm not there for another three weeks. I don't get to help her organize her apartment, find a job, or anything. I'm stuck here completely alone with literally no friends left in Mooresville.

But mostly, I'm just sad that for the last three weeks of my summer, I can't call Kayla and go over to her house just to snuggle. I can't call her at 10 PM to go get ice cream or Taco Bell. We can't snuggle or get Redbox movies. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

As much as I know I get to go back in three weeks for good, it still feels like the last two years when I was stuck here for good. It's hard to put in perspective that it's not the same, I'm not going back to high school. But in fact, I'm going to ECU, Kayla's going to be 5 minutes away, we're going to have classes together and I can see her whenever I want.

But it's still hard. Kayla, if you're reading this (and I know at some point you will) I love you and I'm so proud of you! I miss you so much already but I can't wait to be with you again! I love you.