Long Distance Relationship Letter Ideas

Kayla and I were long distance for about two years while I was still in high school and she had already graduated and went to ECU. Over that time we set many, many letters back and forth. I always looked forward to walking to the mailbox and seeing a letter from her with my name on it. There was always so many cute things inside and many, many of the things are still hanging up in my room all over the place. Here are some ideas of things you can include in your letters to your significant other!

Notes from the Week// I would always write little notes while I was in class and thinking about her and collected them to put into the letters for her at the end of the week. You can write them on plain notebook paper, sticky notes, or notecards. They can be long, or short and sweet like "I love you!" written on a sticky note for them to put by their bed.

Pictures// Kayla would always send me cute little drawings and picture she makes. They're always so cute, simple, and inventive. I would always look forward to see what she had made for me when I open up the letter. Cute little pictures will always do the trick, even if it's just little doodles or something like that, your significant other will love it!

Photographs// When I got my school pictures taken, I would always send them to her. I would also get some of our pictures we had taken previously printed out and send them to her also so she could have them in her room.

Playlists// I am constantly making new playlists on my phone or computer of new songs, old songs, etc. Often I would write them out and send them to her so she could listen along also. I also do have a  long distance and "I Miss You" play list that I have sent to her before. Make a playlist of your favorite songs, songs that make you think of them, etc. Make sure they let you know which songs were their favorites!

Lists// I, as most of you know, am a avid maker of lists. I make lists for EVERYTHING. I can't tell you how many lists I've sent Kayla of the years. You can include a list of dates you would like to go on, bucket lists, favorite things about them, etc!

What are your other ideas?

Toxic Friends

Toxic Friends. We have all had them, I’ve had them, and you’ve had them. It’s something everyone is going to have to deal with at least once in his or her life. You have this friend. You love them. You start spending a lot of time together.  You make tons of memories; take lots of pictures and you start having a wonderful friendship that other people couldn’t possibly understand, right? It’s all fine, dandy, and great. You’re happy; you finally found a friend who you can be yourself around and who loves you for who you are.

But what happens when things start going south? You don’t notice at first. They start “making fun” of the things you’re most insecure about. They start ditching you. They start saying, “are you really going to wear that? Lol ” or “your roots really need to get done haha”. Maybe they start doing drugs or drinking more, more than you’re used to seeing them doing. They insist that they’re okay, don’t worry about it, what’s one more drink?

In my case, it happened so quickly I didn’t even know what was happening until it was already over. It started with the (his) second arrest. Then Kayla and I defended our mutual friend when things started turning sour. Then things spiraled out of control more than I ever thought they could. Long story short: someone who used to be my best friend, someone who I would come to when I was upset, or mad, or scared or bored completely turned on me, and everyone associated with him.

It was a long time coming. He’s been showing signs of insanity for a while. I tried to distance myself but it was hard because he lives with three of my best friends. Eventually, he went absolutely insane. Stealing people’s things, yelling at everyone he saw, writing terrible messages to everyone in the house, and just generally going crazy.

Even though it’s hard to do, ridding yourself of toxic friends is most definitely worth it. You will be so much happier, and better off if you just get rid of the negativity as soon as you see it. Here are a few tips and reminders on how:

Social Media: The first thing you need to do is delete them off Facebook, unfollow them on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. It’s going to do NO good to have to see their updates all the time and block them, so they can’t see yours.

Memories: Know and recognize that memories will creep up. And that’s okay. You’re going to miss them. You’re going to miss the times you had together. But it’s not worth the stress and putting yourself in danger by being around them.

Pictures: If you have pictures with them around your room or something, take them down. It’s only going to make the “memories” above worse.

Reconnecting: No matter what happens, don’t become best friends with them again. They might try and woo you back. It’s not worth it. No matter what you do, you have to stick to your ground. Your happiness and well being is worth more than a so-called “friend”. You don't have to be out right rude or mean to them, but don't hang out with them or associate with them. 

Realize: You need to realize that you’re better than the toxic person you’re trying to move on from. You don’t need the stress and negativity in your life. Focus on school, your career, your family, or whatever it is that you feel needs the most attention in your life.

Your life is going to be so much better, and you’re going to become a much better person without the toxic people in your life. Some people are never going to change, but you can make sure you are happy, healthy and okay with how things are going on in your life. You are so much better than the people who aren’t lifting you up and making you a better person. One step at a time! I wish you the best!

Guest Post: How to Show Love

Congratulations, doll, you've got yourself a significant other and fallen in love! If you're anything like me, the first little bit is going to be a bit of "Oh god, what do I do with this? Do I need to water it? Keep it out of the sun?" 

Your S.O. is not a house plant. Though, yeah, mine doesn't like sunlight. Gamer thing, I guess. 

So what do you do? You show them that you love them. It's amazing to tell and be told, "I love you". However, actions do speak louder than words. Relationships loose their UMPH when you stop doing things for each other. 

Here's a list of things you can do to show your S.O. that you love them! 

1. Kiss their forehead

2. Send them a text telling them how proud of them you are. How much you appreciate them. People need to know that they are making you proud with their work.

3. They're having a bad day? Surprise them with their favorite goodie/candy/flower.

4. Do what they love to do. Read what they love to read. Go where they love to go. Not because you feel obligated but because you want to share their passions. 

5. Fight fair. Nothing says "I love you" like not going bizerk during a minor argument. 

6. Don't pressure them to do anything they don't want to do. If they hate neon pink shirts, don't buy them and tell them to wear it. If they hate avocado, stop begging them to eat guacamole. 

7. Be present. Put down your phone. Look at each other when talking. Undivided attention is incredibly important in showing someone that you genuinely care about what they're saying to you.

8. Take pictures of/with them! It might seem little or cheesy but it's a great way to show that a specific moment with them is something you don't want to forget. 

9. Cuddle. It's intimate yet innocent and it's a way to show your S.O. that you enjoy being close with them. 

10. Pay attention. To their nervous habits, to their coffee preference, to the way they occasionally have an accent, to how they sleep, to how they laugh, the shapes the freckles on their back form.

11. Don't forget those things.

12. Embrace the inside jokes, weird faces, silly noises, tickle wars, and other insider things that you two would never do in front of the public. It's yours and that's awesome! 

13. Okay, go ahead: SAY "I LOVE YOU"! 

*     *     *

Hey gorgeous! It's Alyssa Nicole from Sincerely, Alaska! I am uber excited to get to share my words with you here at Preppy Little Lesbian! I'm a theatre freak, artist, avid reader, college girl, nerdfighter, and proud hedgehog mommy! You'll always be able to find me blogging about life, love, food, mental health, faith, and all the adventures that I hope to have in this crazy life of mine! 

XoXo 

My Coming Out Story

I had no idea I was gay. I mean once in a while I would see a girl and be like "Wow she's really hot." I have had at least 15 boyfriends. Grated, none lasted over two months. Many didn't last over two weeks. Still, I had legitimate  crushes on guys. There was this one guy I swore I was in love with. He promised me when I turned 18 we would move to California. The last guy I was interested in before I "turned" gay is actually one of Kayla's best friends. I really really liked this guy but he continued to screw me over for better girls.

So basically I had no clue. Or in the back of my mind I did, but I was trying to cover it up with like a thousand boyfriends. I honestly don't even know. But in Spring of 2011, I met Kayla. We were on the same softball team. (So cliche right? Don't all lesbians meet on the same softball team?) We were pretty good friends. I had one of my best friends on my team, but for some reason, I tended to draw more towards Kayla. She was absolutely hilarious. Except for this one practice where she kept screaming something annoying and the first words I ever said to her were "SHUT UP KAYLA" and I swear I was so scared she was going to beat me up. 

We continued to get closer. She would play third base and I was her back up in left field. And every play she would say "back me up Ally", like it was going to change from the last play. I felt myself kind of get butterflies when we would talk. But I didn't even think anything of it. After all, I was still super obsessed with her best friend at the time (I didn't really know they were that good of friends until later that summer. I'll explain)

Fast forward to the last game of the season, and evidently of our softball careers, and I had just come in from batting and I had reserved my spot on the bench with my water bottle and mitt, but she moved them and sat in my spot and made me sit on the floor. I was literally terrified of her so I let her do it. 

So we had sort of communicated on Facebook a little bit. Some comments, likes and I think she posted a video to my wall at some point of something totally stupid. One day (May 31st at 6:53 pm to be exact) I messaged her on Facebook and said "Kayla FREAKING Morse" and she said "ALLY freaking GAGLIARDO" and we talked about how both of our last names are weird. 

Kayla posted a status one day that said "If you aren't texting me then what are you doing?" with her number, so I texted her. And that was the turning point in our relationship. I don't know what would have happened if she didn't post that stupid status and I didn't work up the nerve to text her. God I was nervous. I had an idea that she was gay, but I didn't want to be. I didn't want her to like me. I was TERRIFIED. So she sent me one of these ":)" in a text and I literally told her not to do that because I was scared she was flirting with me! 

After that, we literally did not stop texting. Literally ever. As soon as we woke up in the morning, to the second I went to bed. (I go to bed way way way earlier than her. Always have. Always will.) Eventually, she told me she was gay. And (obviously) I was okay with it, I told her I would be there for her. but I felt like I was super jealous of everything she did when it didn't have to do with me. She was good friends with my best friend and got kind of flirty with her for a while, and I hated it. 

Eventually we started talking on September 3rd of 2011. And that's when shit started to hit the fan. Before September 3rd, not a SOUL knew I was gay other than Kayla. Literally no one. It was the most terrifying thing. I was a Sophomore in high school. I had just turned 16 four days before. 

Right from the start I knew there was something special between us. I knew it. We were always talking, always texting. We would walk each other to class and be with each other any time we could. Eventually I told my best friend at the time, and she was pretty much the only person who knew. Then we started to do stupid shit like hold hands in the halls and pretend like people weren't going to see us. And did they ever. Everyone saw and a gay couple in our school has pretty much happened like once before us. So it spread like wild fire. Everyone knew. Everyone. I had so many people talking about me behind my back. So many rumors flying. I lost a few friends (eventually gained them back) because I was completely terrified of everything going on that I freaked out if anyone even said a single word about me. 

I eventually told a few of my other good friends and they accepted me like nothing had changed. Which was amazing. Kayla and I went on our first date, then our second, had our first kiss, which was the most awkward thing ever. Then in November 11th, 2011 at 11:11PM Kayla asked me out. I couldn't have been happier. I really couldn't have. I still count that as the best day of my life because it was. I hated keeping the secret from my family and especially from my little sister. She's like my best friend. 

So I sat my family down on November 16th, and told them I was dating Kayla. And at the time they said they loved me, supported me and would love me no matter what. But they didn't want to tell my sister. For whatever reason. I guess they thought she was too young. But in the end, she ended up finding out like a month later. But I didn't tell her until the next August. 

It was literally exhausting to keep it from someone so close to me. It felt like everyone else knew but I couldn't even be myself because my sister didn't know and my parents didn't want me to tell her. I told her August of 2012 right before she started high school because I knew she would find out anyway. Like I said, as it turns out, she knew already. And was pretty pissed at me for not telling her sooner. Ever since then, Isabella and I have been super close. And I love it. 

Most of this all happened within my first semester of my Sophomore year. It was crazy. But Kayla was my rock through the whole thing. At first my parents weren't too keen on it. They had this preconceived notion of what I was supposed to be, how my future is supposed to be, etc. And I guess I understand that. Now, they LOVE Kayla. They love to be around her and think she's absolutely hilarious. 

Although there were some rough patches with my parents along the way, I'm still happy with how everything is at this moment. As of right now, my extended family (to my knowledge) does not know. I'm not extremely close to them, so I don't feel as if I need to tell them this yet. 

Basically this turned into a story of Kayla and I and a little bit of how I came out but that's basically how it happened. It wasn't this big thing, I told people in groups and then my family, and I think it worked out. Well, obviously it did because Kayla and I will be dating for 3 years in November. 

Next Saturday, August 9th, I'll be posting coming out tips. Tips I've learned, watching videos, seeing other friends come out, from my experience, etc. So if you're struggling with who you are and think you might be gay, and want to come out, check out the post next Saturday, August 9th. 

As always, I'm available to talk and offer as much advice as I possibly can. The best way to reach me is my email: allygagliardo@gmail.com. Please don't hesitate to email me if you have a question, concern or you need any kind of advice or if you just need to talk to someone! PLEASE. I'm always here. You are NOT alone. I know how scary and alone it feels sometimes but you're not. There's always someone. 

3 More Weeks

Yesterday I went to Kayla's house to say goodbye and help her pack a few things and then I expected to go back home and cry alone in my room for a few days. But I ended up going with her and her mom to move her in to her new apartment in Greenville. (Without anything. I had a change of underwear and some comfy shorts for sleeping. No make up, no make up remover, no toothbrush. Nothing.)

I've had to deal with the big move in day for the past three years so this is the third time I've gone through this. But not only that but we've had to say goodbye about a thousand times when she has come home for the weekend. So it's not like we're strangers to saying goodbye to each other. But God, it never gets any easier.

I swear, I was fine. I shed maybe one tear when we were saying goodbye. Because I knew I would be right back. But then her mom forgot her water bottle so I went back inside to grab it and then I had to say goodbye again and that's when I started crying. (I'm holding back tears now as I type.)

I hate that I'm going to be spending the next three weeks without her. But at the same time it's so exciting because in three weeks I'm going to be moving to Greenville and the long distance we have to deal with is over for at least two years. I feel like I'm missing so much. Kayla and all of my (her) friends are in Greenville and I'm not there for another three weeks. I don't get to help her organize her apartment, find a job, or anything. I'm stuck here completely alone with literally no friends left in Mooresville.

But mostly, I'm just sad that for the last three weeks of my summer, I can't call Kayla and go over to her house just to snuggle. I can't call her at 10 PM to go get ice cream or Taco Bell. We can't snuggle or get Redbox movies. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

As much as I know I get to go back in three weeks for good, it still feels like the last two years when I was stuck here for good. It's hard to put in perspective that it's not the same, I'm not going back to high school. But in fact, I'm going to ECU, Kayla's going to be 5 minutes away, we're going to have classes together and I can see her whenever I want.

But it's still hard. Kayla, if you're reading this (and I know at some point you will) I love you and I'm so proud of you! I miss you so much already but I can't wait to be with you again! I love you.

Sanctity of Marriage?

There are still some people in America (and the world) today that still believe that a family is a man, woman, and kids. And thats it. Many people believe that if gay people are allowed to get married then they will ruin the sanctity of marriage. But what I think is that straight people have been ruining it for themselves for decades.

Straight people get divorced everyday. One third of men cheat on their wives. One quarter of women cheat on their husbands. More than 50% of marriages will be impacted by a spouse being unfaithful. Pardon my language, but that's a shit ton.

There is now a tv show where people get married at first sight. What?!? Are you kidding me? Kayla and I have been dating for over two and a half years but we still can't get married in our home state. But these heterosexual couples can meet for the first time and get married on the spot. They don't even know each other's name until they say "I do". How is that preserving the sanctity of marriage? That's beyond me.

When Kim Kardashian married Kris Humphries they were married for 72 days. But she's still allowed to get married and divorced multiple times. But a couple of gays get married and it ruins the sanctity of marriage. No, you're right. I totally get it. 

Britney Spears married Jason Alexander for a total of 55 hours. Yep. HOURS. They were intoxicated and Britney said "Hey let's get married". Jason responded "Okay, yeah sure let's do this." OH. But I've been thinking about my wedding with Kayla for two years now. 1,286 pins on my Wedding pinterest board later and I still can't get married. But someone who had a drunken thought on New Years eve can get married.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sitting in front of my tv every Monday night waiting for the latest episode. But this entire show is about a man or woman dating 26 people of the opposite sex at the same time. And at the end of the 6 weeks, someone gets down on one knee and proposes. They supposedly love each other at the end of this. As of right now there are still 5 couples from all 28 seasons combined. That's including Juan Pablo and Nikki. But we all know they won't last.

It makes me actually laugh when I hear people say that gay people will ruin the sanctity of marriage while heterosexual couples have been doing so much damage for years. With divorce, adultery, short lived marriages, abuse, etc it's nearly impossible that gay people can do anything worse. I'm not saying gay people don't divorce or cheat on their partners, but if straight people are allowed to get married and do that, then why can't gay people.

Do you think gay people will ruin the sanctity of marriage?

Being Independent in a Relationship

This is something that I (and maybe Kayla too, I'm not sure) have struggled with for the last two and a half years. Especially since she's away a lot of the time. When I was only a Sophomore I had a 11 o'clock curfew. I really struggled with that a lot because Kayla was a Senior in high school and she didn't have a curfew. She was allowed to go out and do whatever she wanted. She was out doing all of these things and I was laying in my bed at 11 o'clock on a Friday night watching Disney movies. I was depressed a lot of the time but I couldn't go out so there was nothing I could do about it.

Fast forward to the next year when Kayla left for college in August and football season was starting back up. I wanted to go out and hang out with my friends and go to the football games. But, at the same time, I was really missing Kayla so I wanted to stay home and Skype her and watch a movie. So I started skipping football games, saying no to going to Starbucks and JJ Wasabi's with my friends, no to Cookout after Friday night football because I would rather talk to my girlfriend.

I kept getting even more depressed and by my Senior Year I couldn't stand it. I started to finally go back to football games, trying to hang out with friends more. I still kind of struggle with being my own person, making my own decisions with out asking her first, and making plans and not worrying about if I get to Skype that weekend. It really is hard because I want her to be apart of my life and every decision and things like that. It's really sad but it's been two and a half years and she's been with me through every part of my life for all that time. I HATE feeling like I'm depending on her, or leaning on her or that she's the biggest part of my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I love her to death, I do plan on marrying her. But at the same time, I need to have my own life, likes, dislikes and plans without her.

Here are a few things that I tell myself on how to be independent even when being in a relationship:

Find Your Own Interests// Find something that YOU yourself like to do. For me, during the fall it was football games. Now, I really enjoy writing and updating this blog. I'm also really engulfed in schoolwork and preparing for ECU now. Also I have a friend that I hang out with a lot even when I'm not with Kayla. So just find something that you can do by yourself whether it's coffee and shopping with the girls, or playing soccer.

Spoil Yourself// I planned on making a whole separate post for making your own at home spa day. But spoil yourself. Go grab some Starbucks, go get a mani pedi, do a face mask at home, shave your legs (who doesn't feel awesome when your legs are shaved), go for a walk, do a hair mask. Anything.

Make Your Own Decisions// Write down all of your feelings in a journal. That way if you're frustrated with yourself for getting a D on a math test, or if you're wanting to make a decision write down a pros and cons list in your journal instead of talking it all out before you talk to your significant other. Now, I'm not saying if you're trying to make the decision to move to Africa or something, you will definitely need to include them in that but little small things you need to make your own decisions.

I'm not saying to distance yourself from your partner. But, take some time for yourself. Still schedule/leave out time to Skype with your partner or go to dinner and a movie, or just lay around and cuddle. BUT you don't have to run every idea, or Skype every single night if you don't necessary want to. I do like Skyping Kayla especially right now because I really don't have anything going on and I really just enjoy doing that. But I also am trying to make time for myself more.

Be independent. Be yourself. But also love with all of your heart.

X.O.X.O.
Preppy Little Lesbian
Ally

***MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! @preppylittleles

Miles of Love Questions

I just looked at my countdown app on my phone and I had no idea that the end of Kayla and I's long distance is only 12 DAYS AWAY! I had no idea it was that freaking close and I could not be more excited. After almost 2 years of long distance it's about time. We've survived on weekends, long weekends, holidays, spring breaks, and summers to see each other. The majority of the times we've gotten to see each other have only been two or three days on the weekends other than spring break, summer, and Christmas break.      

I have never been more excited to be with her next year at ECU. Finally best friend sleep overs almost every night!!

I got these questions from 2300 miles of love on tumblr (Tiffany). I think they're great questions and will help you guys get to know us better!

1// Who are you guys?

I'm Ally (obviously) and my girlfriend is Kayla. 

2// How far apart are you and where do you guys live?

We are about 3 and a half hours apart. I live near Charlotte, NC and she goes to ECU

3// Did you guts meet in person or online? What's your story?

We were on the same Rec softball team my freshman year and her junior year. We just really hit it off and started texting, and thus, fell in love.  

4// When was the first time you saw your significant other in person?

When we met at softball practice

5// How often do you talk? Are you making plans for the future? If so, anything interesting?

Every day all day. Yes, I'm going to attend ECU this fall.

6// Have you or your significant other ever second quessed if being in a long distance relationship was the right thing for you/them?

No, not really. At times it gets hard but we know we have to get over this and through this.

7// Do you guys have any cute habits you've developed as a couple?

Ha, not really. Since we've met we've been literally obsessed with Taco Bell. We also FaceTime and use the couple app before bed. But that's really it.

8// What's your favorite activity to do together when you're apart?

Skype!

10// Have you gotten one another any gifts? What was the favorite thing you've given/recieved?

Yes, plenty. My favorite is my promise ring that is in her birth stone she got me for our one year anniversary in 2012. 

11// As of today what's keeping you and you significant other apart?

She is in college and I'm still in high school. 

12// Do you guys have a song? What is it and why do you relate so closely to it?

We have SO many songs. Our first one was Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae because it was beyond popular when we first started talking and we both loved it. 

13// What do each of your families think about your long distance relationship? 

We dated before we had to do long distance so they're pretty okay/used to it. 

14// If you've met in person what's the most fun thing you've done together? 

We went to prom together recently which was awesome! We had so much fun and it was something completely different that we've never done before and we were lucky enough to do it together.

15// If you had to sit down and write your vows to your significant other right now, what would you include in telling them about you loving them forever?

She reads my blog so I don't want to ruin it :)

16// Do your friends who are not in long distance relationships understand what you're going through?

Like I've said, we dated before long distance so people really support us. Everyone knows that one day we're going to get married!

17// Do you personally feel like you get enough time in the day to really connect with your significant other when you're miles apart?

Honestly, no. We're both so busy and stressed. Plus, our schedules are so so different. I'm up earlier in the morning and busy until like 5. Then she's up later at night and busier from 5 on. But I think we both do a pretty good job of staying connected. 

18// If you could go on a dream vacation with your significant otehr free of charge, where would you go and what would you do?

Before we die, I would really love to travel all over the world. All 50 states, Mexico, Canada, Asia, Australia...

19// Has anything awkward happened between you guys?

YES. Our first kiss was super awkward. We had just gotten back from the movies, and she took me home in her car and she parked in my driveway and we both leaned in to kiss and we totally missed. I pretty much bolted out of the door. Hahah. It was so embarrassing but now its something we laugh at. Often. 

20// When you're having a bad day, do you have a specific memory or saying your partner tells you that can put a smile on your face?

I mean, not really. All I have to do is say I'm having a bad day and she's able to easily to make my day better. 

21// What is your favorite physical feature of your significant other?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE her cheeks. They're literally the cutest things ever. 

22// Does your SO do anything you don't love?

Not really. I pretty much love everything. 

23// If you had to sit down and explain what it's like being in a LDR to someone who's not, what would you say?

It's hard. It really is. But if you truly love a person, then it's worth it and definitely doable. You will fight and you will feel like giving up but you can't. It's as simple as that. 

24// What's one thing that makes or can make your dealing with the distance a bit easier?

SKYPE/FACETIME. It's seriously wonderful. 

25// Are you thinking about marriage? If so do you have anything planned? 

Yes. Definitely. We want gray/purple color scheme and an outside wedding. 

26// Before you met your SO, did you ever think you'd be in a long distance relationship? What was it like when you first started your LDR?

Honestly, no. It was literally terrible at first. We had never been apart. But after a while it really got better. 

27// Has there ever been a time in your relationship when your communication felt harder because of the distance?

Yes, because of our schedule differences. 

28// What was the moment you knew you'd survive a LDR?

It was the second day she was at ECU ever. We Skyped for the first time and I automatically felt better. And I knew that if we kept doing that we would be okay. 

29// Do you think you're going to be making any big changes from your current lifestyle or daily routine when you finally close the distance?

Well definitely since I'm going to be going to college!

Hopefully you learned a little bit more about Kayla and I or maybe you learned that LDR's aren't so bad after all. Comment and tell me what you think. As well as other LDR questions, tips and tricks.  Thanks!

Are you in a LDR?

X.O.X.O

Preppy Little Lesbian

Ally

The Green Eyed Monster

After having such a good weekend with Kayla and the amazing time at prom, I was hoping that nothing would ruin that. But, something crept up that put a little damper on things. Mostly, I don't really get jealous when other girls talk to Kayla. We've been dating for two and a half years and we know that nothing is going to break us up. I know that she wouldn't leave me for anyone else. Because how could she do better than me? (; But there's bound to be jealousy in a relationship. How could there not be? But now could there not be? And that's okay! It's healthy to have a little bit of jealousy.

Don't worry about other people// JUST because your significant other is talking to someone else does not mean they like the other person or the other person likes them. I have a problem with this all the time. I just always think that EVERYONE likes Kayla. But it's not necessarily true! People can be JUST friends. Always keep that in mind!

Communicate// If you're having a problem with your significant other, it's always best to communicate. If you're jealous about/of something they're doing TELL THEM. They can't fix it or explain if they don't know it's bothering you. Make sure they know that you don't appreciate what they're doing.

Accept that they wont' change// If they don't want to stop being friends with their ex or that girl is higher on his/her snap chat best friends than you and she won't stop snapchatting, then that's okay. At the end of the day you are not the boss of them. You never will be. You can only simply make suggestions and hope that you learn '

Sometimes it's you// I know this is hard to hear. It's something that I have a hard time accepting and realizing. Sometimes whatever you're upset about isn't really that big of a deal and YOU'RE the one that has to change or fix something and get over it. It's really hard to do but sometimes it's necessary.

Sometimes jealousy is necessary in a relationship. If you're not jealous a little bit when someone new talks to your significant other then I feel like you really don't care. If you say you don't care when you realize that another girl is before you on their snap chat best friends then you're probably lying. It's good and it's healthy to be jealous. It shows that you care about the other person. As well as, it's healthy to fight also. Fighting is okay. Don't let anyone tell you different.

What do you have a hard time getting over?

X.O.X.O
Preppy Little Lesbian
Ally

Senior Prom!

My Senior prom was yesterday and everything was absolutely PERFECT. My dress was perfect, my hair was perfect, my makeup was perfect, my accessories were perfect, my girlfriend was perfect, my girlfriend looked perfect, dinner was perfect, our pictures were perfect....If you couldn't guess, I'm super happy with the way everything turned out. I fell so much more in love with my girlfriend last night. I'm so so so so so lucky that I got to spend my senior prom with the love of my life. I am so lucky that I went to prom with someone I actually care about and that cares about me. (Unlike some people that were there.) This post is going to be so long and VERY photo filled.

My girlfriend was so perfect yesterday and also very super patient after sitting though me getting my hair curled, put up, make up on...and me just basically stressing out all day. I'm so lucky that in 10 years I'm going to be able to look back on these pictures with her and be able to say I married my high school sweetheart and my senior prom date. I think these pictures would be so awesome to show to our kids one day.

I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I felt super confident in my dress, make up and hair. Everything came together so well and I am so happy. I have never felt so beautiful in my life. I got SO many compliments! Kayla also looked so handsome and so cute in her little tux. She's so perfect!

ALL I've been doing all day is looking at everyones prom pictures! I always enjoy that.

I can't believe my senior prom is over! So much planning went in to it and I feel like it went by so fast. But I could not be happier about the way everything turned out.

If you go to prom, send me your pictures! I would love to see some! 

X.O.X.O 
Preppy Little Lesbian
Ally

Long Distance Love

The best thing in my life isn't a thing. It's a person. For me, my most favorite thing isn't my iPhone or my laptop or those new shoes. It's my girlfriend. Before her, I had never felt this way before. I didn't know what love was (I thought I did), I had never held hands with anyone, snuggled with anyone, anything. She's perfect and she's exactly what I need in my life.

So many people talk about how long distance relationships don't work. Kayla and I have been doing long distance for almost two years (54 days and it's over!) Here are a few tips on how to make long distance work.

Skype// Okay, seriously, Skype is probably the best thing ever. Kayla and I Skype a good amount. Mostly when we have a lot of time to spend sitting down together. We always watch movies together. It took us a while to get a good system on how to work it out. We pick a movie, we both have Netflix so most of the time we'll pick something on there. Next, we resize our screens so half of the screen is the Skype call, half of the screen is the movie. We mute ourselves so we can't hear each other eating popcorn or breathing too loud (lol). Then we use the chat feature of Skype to talk about the movie!

FaceTime// It's kind of like Skype but it's mobile and much faster and much easier than lugging out your whole computer. We usually FaceTime when we have a few minutes of down time and we just wanna talk without texting. I also FaceTime her every night before I go to bed.

Couple// Couple is an app that is obviously made for couples. Specifically, for long distance couples. This app is seriously awesome. It runs off of 3G or wifi. There are so many cool features like being able to sketch and draw to each other, texting, audio messages, photos, videos, lists, dates reminders for anniversary, and birthdays and so much more. But my favorite feature is thumbkiss. It sounds so dumb but it's so cool and sweet. You or your partner go into the thumbkiss feature and you put your thumb on the screen (make sure your vibrate is on!). Your partner and you put your thumb on the same area of your phones and then when you've both stayed in the same place for 2 seconds it vibrates! Kayla and I do this before bed, and we usually move our thumbs around a while so the other can't catch it and we put our lips up to the phone so it's like we're actually kissing! (Lame I know)

TRUST// Kayla and I struggled with this a lot in the beginning. For the first 10 months of our relationship we never had to be without each other. We were barely apart and we always knew what each other were doing and we were ALWAYS together. That changed drastically August 2012. She went away to ECU which is four hours away. Suddenly she was in college and was wanting to go out and do college kid things and I was still in high school. I was terrified that she was going to find some pretty sorority girl and leave me because it was more convenient  to be with someone else. And she was scared when I went to high school football games because of ex-boyfriends, old crushes or whatever. But after months of this we just kind of got over it. We knew that nothing was going to break us up. We love each other and no one else in the world is going to come between us. You just have to TRUST your significant other. Long distance relationships WILL NOT work if you do not trust each other.

Honesty// This goes right along with trust. If you aren't being honest or your partner is being honest then how are you going to be able to trust each other? Kayla and I literally tell each other everything. Down to exactly what we have for each meal. You don't have to go to that extreme but being honest about what you're doing, who you're with, where you are and everything makes things so much easier. You don't have to worry about your partner finding out or anything. And you wouldn't want them to lie to you. Honesty is just SO important.

Making time// We used to struggle with this a lot. We are on completely different schedules. I get up way early in the morning (6AM) and she sleeps until noon almost every day. I'm out of school at 2:15 and she's just starting her first class. By 5 or 6 I'm working out, doing homework, and eating dinner while she's STILL in class. By 9 I'm ready to pass out and sometimes she's just getting out of class. It was really difficult at first because we didn't have any time to Skype, FaceTime or talk on the phone. We just had to develop a schedule sort of. We reserve at least one day each weekend she's not here to skyping and watching a movie together. And FaceTime right before I go to bed and text throughout the day. If you don't make time for each other in a long distance relationship it won't work. It's that simple.

Alone time// This is something I definitely struggled with for so long. I didn't want to go out and do things because why would I want to? My girlfriend's not here so who is important enough to hang out with without her? I would sit in my room and be depressed and watch her go out. It seriously broke me down. But eventually I started going out again. I went to football games, I tried to hang out with some friends from school but eventually I started hanging out with Kayla's best friend (who has since become mine) almost every day. You have to have a balance between doing your own thing and spending time with your significant other or you're going to drive yourself crazy.

Visits// This isn't something that I have to tell you. Visit each other as much as possible! If possible, keep it even who does the traveling. It's a little harder for me because my parents are a little more strict and don't want me going down there all the time. Also my car is terrible on gas so it's really expensive to go up there (it's $100 just in gas for a weekend trip). Kayla usually does most of the traveling. I don't think she minds though because her family and friends are here so she gets to visit with them also.

Breaking up// If you are in a relationship before you have to go into long distance, for instance someone goes away to college. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BREAK UP. THE RELATIONSHIP IS NOT AUTOMATICALLY OVER. This was never an option for us. We knew we just had to get through two years and that's it. Then it was over. Now, don't get me wrong. The day she left for the first time I was a MESS. I spent the night at her house and her family dropped me off on the way out of town. I didn't even make it to the door. I started crying in the car and I couldn't stop. My mom was waiting at the door for me because she knew I was going to be a mess. She just held me in the door for 10 minutes. Then I just laid in my parents bed and cried for an hour then finally went up to my room and cried for hours and hours and hours. I literally shit you not I did not eat for two days straight. It was the worst days of my life. BUT I got through it. I got through over 100 goodbyes and so can you! I always hear people say "he's going to college so we're probably going to break up". NO. It doesn't have to be that way. It IS possible to have a long distance relationship. But if you're considering it, or have already accepted that fact that you're going to have to break up, then it's a lost cause and why are you still together if you know you're going to have to break up?

These are just a few things I've learned since being in a LDR.

What are you tricks of the trade? Comment below! I'm always looking for new ideas and tips!

X.O.X.O
Preppy Little Lesbian
Ally 

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"Wait, you're a lesbian?"

Nothing in the world makes me more mad than when people learn that I'm a lesbian, and they say "But you don't look like a lesbian?" I don't think people mean it rude, or malicious, they just don't understand. Today I'm going to take about a couple of things I've had to deal with people saying to me in the last three years after coming out.

"You don't dress like a lesbian"// Just because I dress more ladylike doesn't mean I'm not a lesbian. And on the other side, just because a girl dresses more like a tomboy does not essentially make them a lesbian. The type of clothes we wear do not determine our sexuality.

"You don't look like a lesbian"// This goes right along with "You don't dress like a lesbian". So um. What exactly does a lesbian look like? I have long hair. I wear dresses. I dress up more often. I wear makeup. And that is supposed to automatically make me straight?

"Wait, like have you ever like, had a crush on me?"// Okay, just because I'm gay, and I'm friends with you, and you're a girl, does not mean that I've had a crush on you or still do. Get off your high horse because chances are, no I have not, do not and never will have a crush on you. You don't like all of your guy friends, and I don't like all of my girl friends.

"Bro, stay away from my girl, bro"// #1, I'm not your bro. #2, I don't want your girl. I'm a respectable girl, and I'm not going to steal her away from you. Promise.

"So yeah, my girlfriend has this amazing ass"// Congrats. I don't care. I don't want to talk about your girlfriend, or your sex life. Just because I'm a lesbian does not mean I want to hear about your girlfriend.

"You must hate all guys, right?"// No. I don't. I actually prefer being friends with guys. Like every girl has ever said, there's less drama. Guys don't care about anything. And the fact that I'm not attracted to boys, makes being friends with guys that much less weird.

"You must be an atheist, right?"// I'm sure every gay person has gotten some point of this question at some point. JUST BECAUSE I'M GAY DOES NOT MEAN I DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD. I do believe in God. I go to church every Sunday, I've taken bible classes all four years of high school. I know what the bible says. I understand it. I do hope to one day go to a church that is more liberal and openminded.

"Yo, check out the ass on that one"// Alright guys. I'm not your best friend. We're not going to check out girls and fist bump. I don't want to sit around and look at girl's asses and talk with you about girls, or which one's hot, which one is not. I don't have any interest in doing that with you. ALSO, I do not think every girl is hot.

"You just haven't found a man." "It's just a phase"// I do not want a man. I have not found a man because I do not want a man. I love my girlfriend. She's got everything I need right there. And it is absolutely under no circumstances and in no way a phase. I like girls. I'm a lesbian. I do not like men. Do not EVER tell me it is a phase. It is most definitely not a phase. Thank you.

And finally.....

"You guys met through softball right? Ha ha"// Okay my girlfriend and I actually did meet through softball. BUT, not every lesbian couple has met through softball. Do not go around assuming that lesbians only meet through softball or any other sport.

These are just a few that I've experienced, and that annoy the crap out of me.

Lesbians, what are some things that have been said to you? Straight girls, has anyone assumed you were gay? What kind of things do you get asked that offend you?

X.O.X.O
Preppy Little Lesbian
Ally