Embrace Yourself: Learning The Basics of Meditation

This is my first "Embrace Yourself" post in a while! I loved doing these posts a while back so I thought I would bring them back and talk about meditation! I've only just recently gotten into meditation. I have a few apps that I liked to use to guide my meditation. One I really like is "Breathe" and the "Daily Yoga" app also has a few guided meditations. I like guided ones because it helps me not lose focus too much while meditating. 

While meditation is not necessarily the easiest thing to do, it does require focus and dedication, if you get it down you can soon meditate anytime, anywhere. Meditation is used to help gain self-awareness and, what I meditate for, relaxation. If you can, 20 minutes a day of meditation and you'll find yourself getting a lot of benefits like relaxation, you can reduce your anxiety, and increase your confidence. 

Benefits of Meditation

There are many benefits to meditation, both long term and short term. Like I've already said, you'll find relaxation and reduce your stress. After you meditate, you'll find you're probably a little tired, and that's normal. However, as you go about your day you'll find that you actually have a little more energy that before you meditated. Once you have been meditating a while and you get into it, you'll find that you'll get some clarity mentally, you'll be able to concentrate better, and you'll feel more balanced emotionally. You might even find that you're feeling more creative! 

After meditating regularly for a month or two you'll probably even find that you can handle tough situations in your life better and more effectively. You'll be able to be more connected to your life and be able to go with the flow. You'll feel more grounded and be able to connect better with the people you're in close personal relationships. Many people find that after they start meditating they make more positive decisions in their life. 

Making Time in Your Day

Once you make the decision to begin to meditate, it's important to make a daily routine and make time in your day to meditate, that way you really get the benefits. When you start to meditate, make sure you have a comfortable place to sit. Most gurus don't recommend sitting on a bed, but honestly, I do because that's what's most comfortable for me. Make sure all distractions are away. If you're using an app for guided meditation, turn your ringer and vibration off. Lock everyone out of the room you're in. 

Sit up straight and if you can't do that for 10 to 20 minutes, sit up against the wall. You can use a "mantra" to help focus your attention, or if it's your thing, a prayer. I took a meditation class once and the mantra was "I am all there is". On the inhale say "I am" on the exhale say "all there is". It's supposed to help give you self confidence and awareness. It's completely normal for your attention to waver. Don't get upset at yourself. Just gently bring your attention back to meditation, your breath or your mantra. 

You Can Do it Anywhere

It's hard to believe, but you can seriously meditate anywhere. I've heard people say that you know you've gotten meditation down pat if you can meditate on the subway. I don't know if I could do that, but it's definitely beneficial if you can. If you need a few minutes of relaxation while at work and you have an office or cubicle, it might be easy to be able to mediate. However, if you don't you can go out to your car or a quite spot during your lunch or during a break. At first it may seem hard to meditate with the sounds of your work behind you, but you'll get used to it in no time! 

What do you like about meditation? If you haven't tried it, are you going to give it a go now?

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Embrace Yourself: How to Practice Mindfulness

One of my resolutions this year was to be more mindful. I want to practice mindfulness in my daily life. What is mindfulness? A lot of people associate mindfulness with meditation, and ultimately that is correct. Being mindful and practicing mindfulness is essentially meditation.  Mindfulness is all about being in the present moment. Which I, for one, have a hard time doing. I'm always thinking about what's next. What's coming tomorrow, this week, this month, this year. But I am working hard to try and think about what's immediately necessary. 

How to Start

When starting to practice mindfulness, I've found, it's really difficult. How do you start? What do you do? Just think about what's going on? Yes, essentially. Below are some things you can think about while practicing mindfulness. However, just observe, don't judge any of these points, that contradicts the mindfulness aspect! It's normal to want to judge yourself for your bad posture, or think you shouldn't be having a bad day. Acknowledge your judgment and learn from it! 

• What is your breathing pattern? Fast? Slow? 
• How does your body feel? Are you tense? Are you uncomfortable? How is your posture?
• What do you smell? Hear? Feel? 
• What are you thinking about? Are you able to keep focused? If not, just gently bring yourself back. 
• How are you feeling today? What emotions are you feeling? 

Breathing

When practicing mindfulness your breathing, just like in yoga, is a huge part of it. You've noticed your breathing, so what do you do now? When you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed or just generally bad, slowing down your breathing and taking some deep breaths can seriously calm you down in a matter of 10 deep breaths. If you're wanting an even calmer way of breathing, try this method by Dr. Andrew Weil:

• Breathe with your belly (your stomach should expand when you inhale and flatten when you exhale)
• Inhale through your nose quietly
• Exhale through your mouth by whooshing air around your tongue through your lips
• In hale for a count of 4, hold the breath for a count of 7, and exhale for the count of 8. 
• Start by doing the breath cycle four times, twice a day (building up to 8 cycles, twice a day for ultimate calming effects)

I'm not sure where I got this trick (I think from my yoga instructor) but inhaling for a count of 4, exhaling for a count of 5, inhaling for a count of 6, exhaling for a count of 4, and so on is super relaxing. When I've had a super stressful day, this is how I usually calm down at night. 

Thinking

While practicing, it's so normal to not be able to keep your mind on track. It's hard to keep focused on one thing at a time, especially when it's something such as counting your breath. When practicing, think of your thoughts as water droplets in a river, let them just flow. That's what being mindful is all about. Recognizing your breath, your thoughts and your feelings. If you're having super negative thoughts that won't go away, inhale deeply and when exhaling, literally push the negative thought out of your head. Visualize it literally leaving your mind. It may take a couple of tries but eventually your negative thoughts will cease. 

"I don't have time"

Yes you do. One of my favorite times to be mindful is when I'm doing my daily things. While I'm riding the bus to school, I will look out the window and think about the weather, the houses I'm passing by, how I'm breathing, etc. Another way is to practice being mindful while working out or doing yoga (this is especially helpful and opens up so much clarity!) I also practice mindfulness while I'm doing dishes! 

How do you practice mindfulness?

What would you like to see from this series? Leave a comment!

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Embrace Yourself: Anxiety, Depression and Stress Relief Coping Mechanisms

Things are getting kind of messy around "Design Ally". A lot of things need to be changed over (more than I realized) so some links around the blog might not be working. But be patient with me, I'm hoping to get everything set over the next few weeks!

I've been wanting to do this post for a while, and when I first started this series this is one of the posts I was really looking forward to writing and sharing with you all. Today I'm going to get real personal, real quick.

For a long time I've struggled with anxiety and depression. I've always had really bad anxiety and I feel like my anxiety has caused my depression. I went a talked to a therapist for a couple of years and it was really really helpful. She told me all kinds of coping mechanisms and we built a mental "toolbox" for me to use for when I went off to college and it has helped immensely.

Your "toolbox" is extremely useful and completely customizable! Because what works for me, might not work for you! I'm going to give you a few of my favorite coping mechanisms and just general stress relief tips.

Meditation// Meditation is one of those things that has really helped me immensely. I am not one of those people that meditates everyday, or even multiple times a week (but if you do meditate often, there are serious benefits). I meditate when I've been having a long, stressful day and I need to relax before falling asleep. I am not good at meditating by myself without guidance so I have been using meditation apps.

• Breathe: I LOVE this one. Breathe is the app that I have stuck with and have fallen in love with. When you go into the app, you start with 10 seconds of closing your eyes and tapping into how your body and mind feels. Your phone will vibrate when it's time to open your eyes. Then, you go through a series of questions. You choose how you physically feel, how you mentally feel and then you pick 5 emotions that you're feeling at that moment. From there, they pick 3-5 of the best meditations for you to do based on the emotions you are feeling. They range from 5-15 minutes and you can choose how long you want to do them!
• Headspace: I used this app last year and I really liked it and when you get the free app you get 10 free days. Each day you get on the app, whatever time of the day you want to, you choose what day you're on and they guide you for the next 10 minutes into meditation. The thing I love about Headspace is that they really tell you how to meditate from the very first session to the 10th day. The only reason why I stopped using this app is because I didn't want to have to pay a monthly fee. 

Self care// Self care, if you haven't noticed, is one of the most important things I'm focusing on this year. I have been so bad about not taking care of myself, and this year I made it a priority to spend more time caring for myself.

• Videos: I have been so obsessed with Ingrid Nilsen lately. I love all of her videos and for me, I love that I can relate more to her because she's gay too. Below are a few of my favorite videos that have given me some insight on some coping mechanisms. PLUS Shay Mitchell gives some of her strategies below also. 

• Pacify: I got this app a while ago and essentially, everyday it asks you "how are you feeling?" and you log on. From there, you choose a number of how you're feeling. Then you go in and choose individual emotions or feelings. After that, you can do a little activity based on your feelings for that day. 

Yoga// I am really sure you guys are sick of hearing me talk about yoga. But it is one of the things that have been IMMENSELY helpful to me when I get super anxious. I can even feel it in my body when I haven't practiced in a long time. Taking a few moments, could be anywhere from 5 minutes to a hour, just to practice will put you in a much better place. If you're like me and for the life of you, you can't practice on your own, there are PLENTY of Youtube videos online (free) to help you.

Working Out// Going along with yoga, working out has been super helpful to me also. I was super super super lazy (and still am) when I was younger so my parents made me workout 2-3 times a week with them (I would go to classes with my mom and used the machines with my dad) and while at the time I hated them for it, it really made me like exercising now. But that's not to say I'm always gunning to go workout. However, when I am having a bad day, I go on LONG walks. Now, with Koda I've made it a ritual to take her on some walks during the day. Also recently I've been into month-long challenges that fitness gurus post daily. (Right now I'm doing a pushup, squat, and plank challenge my fav yoga studio is doing.) If you're like me and only have 15-30 minutes a day to work out, another thing you can do is go on Youtube again to get some videos from fitness accounts on there. I liked this video from Ingrid (shocking, I know) with the famous Youtuber Blogilates (she's great, check her out!)

Journaling// Journaling is something that I have always just done. I think to this day since 7th grade I have filled around 15 notebooks! It's just something that has always been helpful to me. At first, I would journal everyday about my day and how I was feeling. But, more recently, I have just been journaling whenever I am feeling strongly about something. If I'm really happy and I just am about to burst, I journal. If I'm really upset about something that I don't really have the words for, I just journal all of the random thoughts in my head. It's so helpful because you don't have to worry about what someone else is going to think.

Coloring Books// Kayla got me a Zen coloring book and I love it! It's SOOOO relaxing. There's just something about putting pen to paper and making something look nice. And the great thing about adult coloring books now, is that there are so many new brands, and different types. I have two zen coloring books, a mendala coloring book and some other ones. At AC Moore a couple of weeks ago they were having a sale 3/$10 (they're typically $10+ per book) so I got some for my self and for gifts for friends!

What are your coping mechanisms?

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Embrace Yourself: How to Find Contentment in Your Everyday Life

Right before coming back to school after Christmas was over, my mom and I went to my favorite yoga class at my favorite yoga studio (the one I worked at over the summer!) and it was just what I needed. I hadn't taken a yoga class since I left for school in August and I could just tell by my body in each position. I wasn't getting low enough; I wasn't bending like I usually do; I couldn't focus my mind as much; I was making about 20 to-do lists in my head. But luckily the "intention" for the night was contentment. 

I have been struggling for the past few months about this. I am constantly feeling like I could be doing something, or something better. I never just sit and relax. I'm always doing something I feel like I should be doing. Even while I'm lying on the couch watching TV with Kayla, I am reading the news or promoting blog posts and keeping up with blog social media. I feel like my room should be cuter (I'm an Interior Design major so that kind of thing is actually important to me); I could be studying harder; I didn't get a good grade last week and many other personal issues I've been dealing with over the past few months (more on that later).

But as I sat down on my yoga mat, eyes closed, listening to the instructor talk, I felt like I really was content. I thought about my life and I realized that I actually am pretty happy with the way things are right now. The entire class was about recentering yourself and your intentions on the things you do have, the feelings that you are feeling, the way your body is practicing that day. Instead of being angry at myself for not being able to stretch as well as I could a couple of months ago, I found myself saying that "Hey, I haven't practiced in months and the fact I'm sitting  here is a great step."

Today, I'm going to encourage you to try and feel contentment.

Think Thankfully
To begin to feel content with where you are in life, take some time to think about (or write about) what you're thankful for in life. I've found that when I write out the things I'm thankful for (health in my family and friends, Kayla, Koda, my family, shelter, friends, etc) it really helps me think about how happy I actually am. It is even helpful to write things down like "got an A on a test" or "a stranger smiled at me today" because those moments totally contribute to our happiness! 

Take special time out for you
One of the things I personally think contributes to my lack of contentment is I don't have any me time. I'm in class all day, then I go to lunch, study, and do work, but usually I am corresponding with someone, or I'm constantly watching Koda to make sure she's out of trouble. Take some time to "meditate" in a way, even if meditating is not your thing. What can you do for some me time? What is something mindful that you can do to work towards contentment and "me" time? 

• Yoga
• Take a walk
• Color in a coloring book
• Meditate 
• Write in a journal 
• Make a healthy snack
• Listen to your favorite songs 
• Exercise 
• Catch up on reading
• Read the news
• Take a 20 minute cat nap
• Drink a glass of water 
• Make some tea or coffee

Reframe your thoughts - about everyone
Confession time: I'm so negative. I'm the definition of Negative Nancy. But that is one thing I'm really really working on this year. I don't want to go around being a pessimist! I don't want to be complaining all the time! So I've been working on reframing my thoughts. Sometimes I'm feeling super ugly one day, my face is completely broken out, my hair isn't doing what I want it to, and I ate too much the night before so I'm bloated. I'll look in the mirror and feel defeated. But then I realize "I'm me." I have begun to narrow down, simplify, and become dedicated to my skin care routine. I've amped up my beauty and self care routines. I make time to journal, read and write whenever I feel like I need to. I've started meditating every night. I feel so much better because I have stopped thinking about how much I dislike things and wish they were better and started trying to and making the moves to make things actually better for me. 

Live in the moment
I'm the worst about this. I really am. I'm always thinking about my next move, my next assignment, Koda's next appointment. But I also am thinking about my past grades, my past mistakes, etc. But there is something to be said about living in the moment even if you really do have a thousand things to think about. For today, I am thinking only about the Math objectives that I need to finish, the Geology notes I need to copy down, and this post. Not what I need to do tomorrow, not what I need to do for next week. What I need to do today. One way I make sure I keep to this, is to utilize the "Today's Top 3" in my Day Designer planner. I pick the three most important things to do that day (the other day it was Math, Koda for a walk and Geology notes) and I prioritize those three things and worry about the rest later if I have time. It's so so important to focus on today, this moment to really be able to enjoy life!

I hope you guys got some tips out of this but I would also like to hear from you. How do you work on trying to feel contentment in your life?

What would you like to see from this series? Leave a comment!

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Embrace Yourself: Stop the Over-scheduling

This is one of the things I really need to work on this year. I tend to schedule out my days until there is no time left. Go to class, work, blog stuff, take Koda for a walk and to the dog park, take a shower, study, do homework. That's what my day looks like every day. But sometimes I realize that I just need to take a break and not schedule something for once. I need a break from my planner and that is what I want to do this year. But how do you stop over-scheduling?

Creative Habits
In my field, Interior Design, I have to be super creative. Overall, I'm a creative person. I'm a writer, I am an Interior Design major, and I just got a coloring book for Christmas (thanks, Kayla!) that I'm loving to color in. The brain needs time to just wander and be creative. For me, that could mean writing in my journal, sketching out some designs, or coloring in my coloring book. It can be counter productive, and honestly the exact opposite of this post, but sometimes you need to schedule creative time. Schedule in free time and do whatever you want for that block, or for the rest of the night. I like to get all of my tasks done for the day before 8PM so I have the rest of the night to relax, hang out with friends, and just not think about anything!

Be Thankful 
I have this thing where I'm "go, go, go" all the time. I was watching a video or something the other day where this woman had nothing to do. So she began just cleaning, and fixing things around her house. And that is literally me. I could have NOTHING to do and I will still find SOMETHING to do. That one dish needs to be done? ON IT. That book is out of place? On it. Counter has a small spill? Go it. One of my goals, and should be yours too, to be thankful. Sit back and think about all that you have accomplished, all that you have and just be thankful. Take the time away from your planner and schedule to just appreciate your life.

Simplify Your Life and Schedule
There are many things in our day that takes up time that we really aren't using effectively, or minimally. While I do appreciate a clean house, tidying up things that don't need it is a waste of time. (YES ALLY, I'M TALKING TO YOU.) If your house is presentable and you feel comfortable, I think that book can be out of place for the night while you relax. Are you commuting too far? Driving significant distances takes up a lot of your schedule. If you have an hour commute to work or school, you could be using that time to cherish your cup of coffee in the morning or read a few pages of your book. Like I mentioned above, I like to cut myself off around 8-9PM to just do nothing. Maybe I schedule in a beauty hour for myself (shower, face mask, nails, etc.) or some yoga, maybe even a workout. But these things are healthy things that are scheduled.

Other things to consider:

• I can't emphasize this enough: SCHEDULE DOWN TIME. Do it. It may seem counterproductive. But if you're like me and you live by your planner, it will ultimately guide you and help you. 
• Use your money wisely. The more you buy, the more you're going to have to clean, wash or keep up with! 
• Give yourself, and others space. Kayla and I love to be together, we're practically together 24/7. But we each have our alone time. I have the mornings while she's still sleeping. I go to bed at the same time as a grandmother and Kayla was up until 5AM so that's her alone time. We also have a spare hour or two when we're just separated. Whether I'm working out, walking Koda or shopping, she may be taking Koda to the dog park, playing video games or running her own errands. You need ALONE TIME. 
• Go digitally dark for a day. Limit how much time you're surfing the internet! 
• Say no if you want to say no. Don't say yes just because you feel obligated. You deserve to say no and feel confident in that.
• Stop trying to be perfect (HELLOOOO, ALLY, ARE YOU LISTENING?). While it's hard for me sometimes, I know not everything has to be perfect. Kayla always makes fun of me because whenever our friend comes over I'm like a crazy person running around trying to make sure everything is clean and nice. I don't need to do that because I literally keep it spotless most of the time! 

I hope you enjoyed the second post in the "Embrace Yourself" series. Let me know what you thought in the comments below! 

What would you like to see from this series? Leave a comment!

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Embrace Yourself: Finding Peace and Tranquility

This New Year one of my goals is to live more simply. Live more in the now. I tend to over schedule, overthink and then I tend to spend more time doing things that simply do not benefit me. While I do love a good Netflix binge, I know that it's really not a good use of my time. I have always had the goal of reading more, journaling more, practice yoga daily, meditate and pay more attention to self care.

So, over the course of the next few months, I am going to be working on a series that encompasses all of these goals. "Embrace Yourself" is what I'm going to be calling this series in hopes that these posts will help you embrace yourself in a way that you find your ultimate goals and find peace and happiness in your life. One of my personal goals at the end of this series is to be able to affectively manage my time to where I have the time to spend the end of my day taking care of my self such as, reading, journaling, meditating, practicing yoga and taking some time for self care.

When you're in college, or really at any point in your life, you have a lot to think about. For college students you have school, tests, homework, studying, possibly a job, friends, your family to keep up with, self care, clubs, and much more. If you have a family that is just multiplied because you have to think about all of those things for every member. But how do you set aside time to find peace and tranquility for yourself. 

Self care is really something I want to work on for myself this year. I tend to think about everyone else in the world other than myself first. Has Koda been fed? Where's Kayla? Does she have an appointment today? When is Koda's next shot? Has she been out recently? When does my best friend get off? Does she want to hang out today? But I realize that needs to stop. Not completely, but I d need to think about myself, my wants and my needs first and then think about everyone else too. But it's hard. 

Peace is a Priority

Spending time for yourself to just be reflective (and meditative if that's your goal) is important. It can serve as an escape from work, school, and at the risk of sounding rude, your family. As much as we love our friends and family, we do need breaks from them, possibly a lot of them. If we just step back from the roles we play - student, friend, girlfriend, wife, husband, boyfriend, mother, child - and truly think about what we are to our core, we will be able to find peace and (at the risk of this going over your head) our deeper selves. Take the time to make peace, tranquility, serenity, etc a priority in your life. Write it in your planner and schedule it if you have to. 

Tranquility Without Solitude

For some of us with roommates and family we're constantly surrounded by, it's nearly impossible to get some alone time to find peace and tranquility. However, there are ways you can sneak in some wonderful peaceful time for yourself. 

• Use your commute to listen to a meditation sequence (there are many apps online like "Headspace")
• Take a walk or go exercise
• Sit out on your back porch and read the book you've been meaning to get to
• Tell the people around you that you want 15 minutes alone, most of the time they will respect that request
• Lock yourself in the bathroom for even 5 minutes alone (Hopefully you won't need this drastic measure. However, it is effective due to no one wanting to disturb someone in the bathroom.)

Play into Your Interests

Our hobbies and interests really help make us who we are. These are the things we truly enjoy. While I do love playing video games from time to time, Kayla really happens to love them. She plays video games when she wants some time to herself and stop thinking for a little while. I love to practice yoga, read and work on some blog tasks. These things are what we individually like to do. We love to watch movies and go on walks with Koda together. While those are mindless tasks that do feel peaceful, there are benefits to playing to your own interests for some alone time. 

Is Silence the Key?

For some, you may never really truly feel peace unless there is silence. However, for me I don't necessarily need silence. If I'm practicing, I like to have the "soothing and relaxation" station playing on Pandora. I also listen to this while I'm reading. It provides some background noise while not being to distract me from what I'm doing. Choose the best method of quiet for you. 

I hope you've enjoyed the first post in my "Embrace Yourself" series. I will be back on Wednesday with "Embrace Yourself: Stop the Over-scheduling". 

What would you like to see from this series? Leave a comment!

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