As someone who deals with adversities on a daily basis, it’s
hard. It’s really hard. There are some people who will literally never like me.
Ever. They’ll look at me differently. They’ll be nice to me, but disapprove
with my “lifestyle”. They’ll post demeaning articles on Facebook, saying how
they “hate the sin but love the sinner”. Yes, it’s mostly Christians who do
these things to the LGBT community and me. I know that not all Christians want
to take away my rights or send me straight to hell. And some people who aren’t
Christians won’t exactly be all gung ho either.
Sometimes I look at these posts or comments on Facebook,
blogs, news sites and I can’t help but feel insulted and a little sad. While I
feel that the world should be past hating the LGBT community, I know that some
people will just never get there. It’s taken about 3 years (and I still really
struggle with it sometimes) to realize that not everyone is going to be okay
with me being gay.
It’s hard, you know. The LGBT community is not the only
group of people who deals with adversities. No matter what group you belong to,
there’s going to be another group who doesn’t like you, or doesn’t agree with
the “lifestyle” you live, or who you are. And
that’s okay. I’m not here to make you suddenly love the LGBT community,
people of another race, another religion, or whatever group of people you just
can’t fully get behind. I’m here to give you some advice on how to deal with
adversities. I’m also here to give you advice on how to deal with these people
who might not like you.
The important thing to know is that, you need to be nice and
tolerant. Just because you don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle, doesn’t mean
you can’t be nice and tolerate, maybe, the lesbian or the interracial couple
behind you at a restaurant. Don’t say anything (unless you want to get an
earful, because if it’s me behind you, I won’t let you get away easily ;)). You live your life, and they’ll
live theirs. What people do and who
they are does not concern you in any way,
shape or form.
If you’re the one dealing with people being intolerant or
even downright rude or hateful, take a breath. It’s hard to deal with this; I
know from experience. But you need to just breathe because you want to be in
control. Yeah, you’re going to want to get snippy, and I get that. I can’t tell
you not to do that, because I’ve been in that situation many times and it’s
hard not to want to yell or be rude back. But just know, that not everyone is
going to agree with you. Times may be changing but there’s always going to be
intolerance. Always. But it always pays to be the bigger person and realize
that people are going to be different than you. Just go about your day, and
just be happy!
How do you deal with adversities?
As a Christian, I can't say I wholeheartedly agree with your lifestyle, however, I could never be rude to a person for choosing a particular lifestyle unlike my own. Everyone has the right to choose their own path. And no matter the path, everyone deserves respect, dignity, and love. Thanks for sharing friend (:
ReplyDeleteI think the advice you give for dealing with this is definitely wonderful. Even if people don't agree with your lifestyle, there's no reason to be hateful. We're all humans and should be treated as such especially if our beliefs are not physically harming anyone.
ReplyDeletexoxo, Jenny || Breakfast at Lillys
You are so wise, Ally. I'm so sad that you have to deal with things like this. I'm always amazed at how many serious issues are going on in the world (poverty, sickness, our economy) yet people choose to freak out over things like gay marriage, interracial relationships, and the color of someone's skin. As a Christian, it makes me feel sick when I see someone being hateful "in the name of Christ." Since I can't worry about everyone else, I just try to focus on what I can do to make the world better and love everyone!
ReplyDeleteXX, SS || A Little Seersucker Sass
Such great advice to anyone going through prejudices!
ReplyDeletewww.kayleighskloset.com
Dana said it so well (Seersucker Sass)! You are a strong, courageous woman for enduring constant judgment and remaining true to yourself -- all with a smile on your face and advice for everybody else. You are right to give anyone an earful who has the nerve to open their mouth about this stuff!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thepdxbelle.com/
I can imagine it must be a struggle to deal with all the haters, it's hard because even though there are probably more people who support you and your right to be who you are, the supporters sometimes aren't as loud as the haters. I think it is great you are able to use your negative experiences and write about them. Everyone faces adversity at some point or another (though the degree varies) and I think it is important to stay strong and true to who we are!
ReplyDeleteI hate that you are having to deal with people like this. I think that you hit the nail on the head with your advice- you've really gotta kill people with kindness. Prove them wrong. Make them feel ridiculous for their stereotypical or hateful thinking. That's their problem to deal with, not yours, and is clearly a sign of an unhappy individual. Kudos to you and I hope that you continue to have the courage and grace to deal with these situations as they come.
ReplyDeletexo.
http://apeachysonder.blogspot.com
It breaks my heart to hear that you're struggling with this - institutionally ingrained adversity isn't easy to overcome or ignore. It does pay to be the bigger person. Choose your battles and continue to inspire us with your courage and experiences xx
ReplyDeleteAlessandra | blog.pumpup.com
Thank you so much for sharing this- as a bi girl who's not fully out (my family/the general public doesn't know because my family is unaccepting), I understand this completely. We can only hope that it will get better in the future.
ReplyDeleteCourtney//As We Stumble Along
You're so strong and graceful and brave, I hope you learn to ignore as much as you can!
ReplyDeleteVery well said Ally! I think it all goes back to the golden rule; treat others the way you would want to be treated. How else are we all to coexist here? Your perspective on adversity is refreshing.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great topic. I think I deal with adversities by looking on the bright side and trying to find the good in any situation. It's tough but it helps me feel like I have some control over the situation.
ReplyDeleteBeing able to write about your adversities and express your feelings I think is one of the most important things to do!
ReplyDeleteGreat advice, Ally! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this, but I'm so happy that you've been able to express your feelings and be the bigger person. XO
ReplyDeleteYou're so strong and brave! Hope that it will get better in the future!!
ReplyDeleteThis is something that I think everyone should read. I have two lesbian cousins and people even in our own family don't accept them. It's so hard but you are SO strong. <3 And we support and love you!
ReplyDeleteLauren
The Fashionista's Diary
I've always tried to live by Thumper's motto if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. This post is so important and everyone really should read. If it doesn't directly affect my life, then you keep being happy and loving!
ReplyDeleteNicole // Chronicling Home
It's a hard thing in life that everyone isn't going to fully accept or like you, but like you said- that's just reality...and it SUCKS, and I wish it wasn't like that...but knowing can give you a lot of power! Being a kind person to everyone regardless of their lifestyle/religion/ethnicity or whatever it may be is the most important thing. When we model good behavior, it's the best thing for encouraging others to do the same. Sorry you have to go through troubles, but I know that your KIND behavior will help others to learn how to treat people! Hang in there, girly!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to clarify- when I said "everyone isn't going to like you" I was totally not talking about just YOU in particular haha! I just meant everyone. Everyone isn't going to like me or anyone! Sorry- just didn't want to give off the wrong impression :)
ReplyDeleteFight hatred with love, and guess what, what can they do with that? It is really important to understand that the biggest weapon we all have is love
ReplyDelete