9.30.2015

Getting Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

This actually might contradict Monday’s post. But it’s time for me (and maybe you if you’re like me) to become comfortable in being uncomfortable. With my level of anxiety, it’s really, really not easy. Sometimes, I’m having anxiety about something, but I don’t know I’m having anxiety because that’s what it feels like for me 100% of the time. Maybe that’s hard to understand if you don’t have anxiety like I do.

Sometimes I genuinely do not realize that the feelings I am having about something is actually my anxiety. How is that even possible? Because like I said above, that’s really what it feels like 100% of the time for me. So maybe in a way I’m already getting comfortable being uncomfortable?

  
College was uncomfortable for me. Until months before I moved out of my house and into my dorm (four hours away) I didn’t even order my own food at restaurants. My mom ordered my food for me until I was about 15. For about a year after Kayla and I started dating, she did the same. Then, she literally forced me to do it by myself.

My mom handled my doctor’s appointments, all of my school stuff (financial aid, etc). I only did what was absolutely necessary for me to handle. I only hung out with people I had hung out with for years and years, unless Kayla was with me. And she HAD to introduce me; because there was no way I was going to do it myself.

Then things started to change once I went to college. I had to take care of my own stuff. I got sick during the school year and my doctor (and mom) were 300 miles away. I emailed my professor telling her I wouldn’t be in class today due to being sick, scheduled myself an appointment at the student center, checked myself in and found everything all on my own.

I got myself a group fitness pass, I ordered my own stuff at the dining hall and restaurants on campus, I hung out with my roommate and her friends, I actually hung out with Kayla and I’s mutual friend alone. I applied and interviewed for the RA job and that is something I never thought I would have done just 6 months ago.

College and being on my own changed me a lot. But, I know I still have a long ways to go. I’m not very good at making friends. I still practice my food order 100 times before saying it to the cashier. I practice saying “here” during roll call, even though I’ve done it the last 18 years of my life. I want to throw up every time I have a presentation to make.

But that’s okay. I know over the years I will get better at all of these things. All of them are part of life, and trust me, those few things I listed they’re not even the half of it. I will always have to deal with my anxiety and getting comfortable being uncomfortable.

Do you have any similar issues you deal with?


13 comments :

  1. I completely get this girl! I have terrible anxiety and still, at 22, hate having to call and make appointments or do any independent thing :(

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  2. This is one of the biggest lessons I have been forced to learn since graduating college actually. The last year has been SO uncomfortable for me, and I'm just starting to become comfortable in this unfamiliar life. Great reminder girl! (:

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  3. I completely understand this! I've dealt with panic attacks and anxiety for two years and just got on anxiety meds and started going to a therapist a couple of months ago. I totally agree with this post!

    Good luck, girlie. :)

    Allisonleighann

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  4. I have quite a bit of social anxiety - group fitness classes and yoga have really helped me to cope and break out of my shell!

    Alessandra | blog.pumpup.com

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  5. This is so awesome that you are able to face your anxiety!! I have struggled with anxiety in the past (and still currently to some degree) as well- while not about the same things as yours, all anxiety can be hard to deal with and it's definitely an accomplishment to work through it!

    xoxo A
    www.southernbelleintraining.com

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  6. Wow! This was my childhood. Fortunately and unfortunately, my parents were tough love (okay, order your food yourself or ask yourself, or else you don't get any.") it was extremely tough for me, but I went through so many tough changes that have helped me through this, even being an introvert with depression.

    Sounds like what you're going through right now! You're doing great, keep it up! Support is so important.

    Courtney//As We Stumble Along

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  7. I don't like ordering food for myself either and a lot of the time when I order, I don't look the person in the eyes so I definitely feel that. I've definitely gotten better over the years but some of the most simple tasks make me so nervous.
    It sounds like you're taking the right steps to get through it all though!


    xoxo, Jenny || Breakfast at Lillys

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  8. I totally relate to the food ordering part...I refused to make any phone calls to adults or people that weren't my friends or family until I was forced to in college. So glad you're working on this and know you're not alone!

    Savannah @ http://thealwaysblog.com

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  9. At 26 years of age, I still get nervous about scheduling my own things :X Glad I'm not the only one! haha

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  10. I totally know what you mean about having anxiety!

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  11. I was already slightly independent before I left for college but I know exactly what you mean! Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed, I miss the days where other people could take care of things for me, but now I've realized how good it can feel when you're the one that does so!
    xx, Southwestern Prepster

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  12. I know exactly what you mean about having anxiety but not realizing you're having anxiety about it. I didn't realize that I had anxiety until later in life, and being able to put a name to the things I was going through was such a relief. That said, living with anxiety is definitely not easy, as you know. It's so great to hear that things really took a turn for you and your anxiety when you went to college. College really is the place that you grow in the most unexpected ways.

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  13. I can so relate to this!! This first time I had to schedule an appointment by myself, I was so nervous and anxious!

    xoxo Lex // LexMeetsWorld

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